Oops I did it again …. How to deal with blushing in a presentation

Blushing can be very embarrassing, when it happens during a presentation, it can make us even more nervous.

It happens to the best of us.  I remember on my wedding day, my biggest fear was not whether my husband-to-be would turn up (he did, thankfully!) but that I would blush.  In those days, when I blushed it seemed to go from my cheeks, to my neck and all the way to my toes!  For many people who blush, the fear of blushing while delivering a business presentation can actually impinge on their impact.

Before we look at the tips on how to deal with blushing – just a little bit on why we blush and why we blush less as we age.

Why do we blush?

According to www.science.howstuffworks.com we blush because we feel embarrassed.  When we feel embarrassed our body releases adrenaline, similar to how it does in the fight or flight response.  The latter goes right back to caveman time.  Caveman comes out of his cave – sees a tiger, has to decide… “hmm, will I fight or will I flight?”  Either way, the body knows it needs to warm up the necessary limbs quickly so sends extra blood there.  That is why, one of the things that happens when we get nervous, is that our palms get sweaty.

So, back to the blushing and adrenaline.  The adrenaline makes your blood vessels dilate to deliver more oxygen.  So as the blood vessels in your face dilate, more blood flows there and voila – blushing!  The reason why it happens to some people and not others appears to be a bit of a mystery.

Why do we blush less as we age?

Two reasons why we blush less as we age.  Firstly, we tend not to be as self-conscious.  You probably notice this yourself, in most situations.  Having said that, many adults can actually be more self-conscious as they age when delivering business or corporate presentations.  This can be because they are more senior and feel added pressure to be a really high impact presenter.

Second reason why we blush less is due to the fact that as we age, stimulation of facial blood vessels decreases.

How can we deal with blushing?

Stop thinking about it!

Enrique Jadresic has written a whole book on the topic “When blushing hurts”  We tend to blush as we feel anxious or nervous and the more we think about it the worse we feel. Acknowledge, silently to yourself that you are blushing and move on… One way to take your mind off the blushing is to clench your buttocks tightly for a few seconds and then release.  This can help remove the focus from the blushing… it also works the glutes so it’s a win win!

A blush only lasts a minute

According to Wikipedia a blush will typically last from one to two minutes.  In my experience, most people tend to blush for shorter rather than longer.  Although when we are blushing that one minute can feel like 10!

What is the worst that can happen?

Are people going to walk out of your presentation?  Are they going to totally dismiss what you are saying?

Of course not!  If you were listening to someone speaking and they blushed, you would most likely empathise with them.  Right?  That is what your audience are likely to do too.

In fact, it may even make your audience like you more.  In her fantastic TED talk Brené Brown talks about the power of vulnerability.  I believe that blushing shows a certain vulnerability and in turn your human side, which helps your audience to connect with you.

If you feel that your blushing is caused by excessive nerves when presenting see our post on How to Shake off Nerves.

And remember it happens to the best of us!

Hot cheeks, face on fire, you know what’s next: A bright red blush that unmasks all the turbulence inside your head.

All of us blush at least occasionally, but it can be distressing if it happens too easily or often. Some people turn delicately pink, while others blush scarlet from the tips of their ears to the bottom of their neck.

Blushing is a reaction to undesired social attention and a way of deflecting it, said Mark Leary, psychology professor and director of the Interdisciplinary Behavioral Research Center at Duke University.

“If you see somebody who is blushing and they look nervous and they’re smiling goofily and they avert their gaze, you can’t continue to stare at them,” Leary told TODAY. “It makes the observer uncomfortable to watch somebody do this.”

Most people think blushing is a reaction to embarrassment, but you can get red just by opening presents while people are looking at you, Leary noted.

Related: Unbearable blushing: Parents speak out about son's suicide

Certain personalities are more vulnerable. You’ll get red more often if you are:

• concerned about being negatively evaluated by other people
• anxious about your public image
• sensitive to “gross and crass things”
• in need of social acceptance by other people
• someone with low self-esteem

“For somebody who is already prone to anxiety… they’re more likely to think, ‘What’s wrong with me?’” said Barbara Markway, a psychologist in Jefferson City, Missouri, and author of “Painfully Shy: How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Reclaim Your Life.”

Blushing is an automatic body response that’s hard to control, but there are some ways to ease the reaction:

1. Fight a blush with a blush

Studies have shown that when you feel a blush coming on, you can make it go away by consciously trying to make your cheeks redden.

Think “I want to blush as hard as I can” and try to bear down a bit, Leary recommended. He doesn’t know why it works, but it could be that bearing down affects the flow of blood to your face, or that it gets your mind off the unwanted social attention.

2. Don’t look at other people

Averting your gaze for a moment and not making direct eye contact when you’re blushing can help, Leary noted.

He once did an experiment where all subjects knew they were being stared at. Some of the people doing the staring wore sunglasses, others did not. The subjects only blushed when they could see the staring eyes.

Related: Are you really an introvert? 3 surprising ways to tell

3. Invite the symptoms

Set aside a few minutes a day and try to make yourself blush, Markway recommended. Go ahead and conjure up situations that usually make you red. It’s similar to exposure therapy, where you confront your fears in a safe setting.

“What you resist persists,” Markway said. “The more you resist the blushing, the more likely it’s going to happen… (this) is a way to take the power out of it and put it more in perspective.”

You learn the anxiety runs out of steam and you can’t blush anymore. Markway had a patient try this approach and he eventually found he was blushing less frequently.

“The main thing he learned is that he didn’t need to be devastated by it,” she noted.

4. Develop a one sentence explanation

Have a quick, light explanation ready to go whenever you feel a blush coming on, Markway advised.

You can say, “Oh, I just tend to get red. That just happens to me” or “It’s hot in here, I feel my face getting red.”

That way, you explain your blush and stop being so inwardly focused. Move on by asking the other person a question about himself.

5. Diminish its power

Avoidance is a big problem with any kind of anxiety symptom, like blushing, Markway said.

“If you have this tendency to blush, are you going to keep it from doing the things you want to do?” she asked.

“If you stop doing things that you value and care about because of the blushing, you’re giving it too big of a place in your life.”

She tells patients to ask themselves these two questions:

What are the odds of blushing happening? People with anxiety tend to overestimate the odds.

If it does happen, how bad is it going to be? In most cases, it’s not going to be as bad as you think.

Related: Author vents about anxiety, depression on viral 'So sad today' Twitter account

6. Be compassionate with yourself

Notice what you’re saying to yourself when you blush. Stop if your default mode is to give into thoughts such as, “This is so stupid” or “I’m such a loser,” Markway said.

Instead, train yourself to think, “My body is just wired this way and it might be embarrassing, but it’s not my fault.”

7. Realize that others appreciate your blush

Most people think they look bad when they blush, but research shows blushing can help to repair your image if you’ve done something silly, Leary said.

One study found people who turned red after making a mistake or social blunder were considered more trustworthy and judged more positively than those who did not.

Related: Blush, and you'll get away with anything, study suggests

“It’s OK to blush. In fact, it’s necessary to signal that I care what you think about me and I realize I’ve made a mistake,” Leary said. “A person who never ever blushed — you couldn’t trust them. They’re not sensitive to what other people think.”

“We think that people are going to reject us, but it can be endearing,” Markway echoed.

8. Realize it may get easier with age

Your sensitivity to what other people think and being the center of attention goes down as you get older, partly through experience, Leary noted.

You know how to handle those kinds of situations better than when you were a teenager. There are also fewer people whose opinion you care about when you’re 60 than when you’re 16, he said.

9. Try acceptance

It’s not a quick fix, but accept that blushing will come and go, and this is just what your body does, Markway said.

If blushing is interfering with your life, try the Anxiety and Depression Association of America as a first step to get help.

Follow A. Pawlowski on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.